Britney Spears’ Music Scares Away Somali Pirates


Either the Somali pirates have real taste in music, or they hate Western culture so much that the very strains of pop music will cause them to turn their boats around and flee from merchant ships they were previously targeting.

According to Huff Post, Britney Spears’ hits “Oops! I Did It Again” and “Baby One More Time” are being blared at approaching pirates bent on attacking merchant navy ships off the east coast of Africa.

The weaponized pop music is blasted at high volumes and directly at the pirates so that the ship’s crew don’t have to suffer. Using Britney seems harmless, but there are humanitarian limits to the weaponization of pop music.

“I’d imagine using Justin Bieber would be against the Geneva Convention,” jokes Steven Jones, of the Security Association for the Maritime Industry.

We took a page out the book of weaponized pop music and confessed the songs that would makes us turn our boats around. Here’s what we shared:

Meatloaf’s “Paradise By The Dashboard Light” would make Julie turn her boat around.

Tony will turn and flee at the sound of Billy Ray Cyrus’ “Achy Breaky Heart.”

Boy George and Culture Club’s “Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?” would make John not want to hurt anyone on the ship, so he’d turn his boat around.



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